With the return of 24, it seems like all anyone wants to do in the blogosphere is talk about Jack Bauer, played by Kiefer Sutherland. “Jack Bauer” has been the most popular search term on Technorati the past few days since the four hour premiere on Fox.

Pretty soon, there will be people writing entries about Jack Bauer just to see how many people come visit their blog to read about Jack Bauer. And then, those people might look and see that Drew Barrymore is the second on the list behind Jack Bauer, so they will start writing blog entries about how Drew Barrymore is going to marry Jack Bauer. That would be really confusing, of course, because Drew Barrymore is real (at least we think she is) and Jack Bauer is fictional…OR IS HE? Maybe all those searches for Jack Bauer are people who are trying to find a real person named Jack Bauer who they thought was killed 18 months ago, and now they are wondering if instead he is holed up somewhere with Drew Barrymore.

Back to the point…somebody somewhere is probably writing a blog entry right now that mentions Jack Bauer and Drew Barrymore just to draw some traffic to their blog. That would be despicable.

I don’t know, I might hold off on that headline for a bit.

This article and interview ask “Why Does the World Hate America?”

While I enjoy living in America, I have been around the world enough to know that we are not the most popular kid in school. Here are a few of the things that might have contributed to our image around the world.
10) Hilton hotels are all over the world, but the sisters are All-American.

9) Mr. Miagi died while in our care.

Bill Clinton got in more trouble for sexual escapades than he did for bombing parts of Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.

7) We elected George Bush…. THREE TIMES!

6) The O.J. Simpson and Micheal Jackson trial outcomes.

5) The amount of swimming pools we have compared the amount of people in the world who can’t even get clean water. (Sorry to get real for a second.)
4) The Starship Troopers movie.

3) Reality TV actually dictates which nights we go out or not.
2) We have way too much knowledge of and respect for other cultures.
1) Barney

This news article headline once again brings up the classic debate; is he who smealt it really the one who dealt it? The world is intent on finding out who farted and all evidence points to Mother Russia. Evidently, Russia is not claiming its sbd (silent, but deadly) and has prompted the rest of the world to question Russia’s integrity. Russia claims that this little tiff is all about “natural gas” but we all know that can be the worst smelling kind.

In reality, Russia is acting out a scene from Mean Girls. Russia has always viewed Ukraine as her pet project, helping her along in the world by being her friend. Now that Ukraine has made friends of her own and started fitting in with the cool kids, the West, Russia is pissed off and needs to teach her a lesson. Russia decided to cut off natural gas to Ukraine because she made nice with the jocks. In the middle of winter Russia has cut off the main source of heat for Ukraine. Really? Because Ukraine decided to make friends with another click? At least, that’s what I heard from Germany, who heard it from Italy, who was talking with Slovakia, (who we all know is a slut because she made out with Poland and Denmark in the same night) who works with Albania, you know, the one who hates Russia. At least, that’s what I heard.